I HATE the mall! I am anoyed with all of the stupid teenagers there running around in their skinny jeans and tight shirts. I don't look good in or fit in most of their stereotype people clothing that is either too small for anyone but a twig, or too big to suffice for the subway station. It used to be different, it used to be a wonderful place (from a 2 year old 3 foot tall girls view) But now you can't even walk around without being tense and wondering what the people around you see. I feel so much better in DI (deseret industries) where I can feel OK around the people because I know that they won't mind that much of how I am. I would rather just not have to worry or care what everyone thinks but I just can't help it. The world looks at me and pulls me apart untill they think that they know who I am but they haven't even asked me my name.
So today I endured another day of going to the shoe store for a buy one get one half-off sale only to find that they don't carry size nines followed by my sister getting mad at me because she couldn't get any shoes unless I got some. I don't feel comfortable being pulled at or rejected. My heart breaks as well as my self respect and selfesteem. I wish that I didn't have to hide behind this mask and reveal my true identity. But what would everyone do? I don't want to have to be hidden but I don't fit in with what the world thinks is perfect.